Current mood:

calm

i hope we have a future
its me this time it's not me being upset.. recently many things happened.. he took sometime and talked to me and i feel like i start to understand him more.. he is a very sensitive man.. he told me he know appreciate and my 500 changes his life changes everyone's life in great sun how can he not appreciate.. it's not what i can do to make things better it's the things i've already done.. and lately he told me he has to give 700 to HK for his dad and he has a 7000 debt.. that's why he doesn't wanna buy a hse or car.. there r more and more things coming out.. i don't know how to analysis this.. he is always upset and all that.. i understand but it's also so hard to deal with.. the other day he saw someone's car broke down on the road he helped them pushing car.. he was working harder than the owner of the car.. i was praying god.. to take care of him coz he has a good heart.. i wonder when will be god's time.. and somehow i was afraid that i cna't wait to that time.. he has been smoking and drinking a lot.. i worry about him.. if ada choi can pray for her husband to quit smoking.. i think i want to pray for philip too i hope he will be united with god.. i know he a good man.. but do i know him? i hope i do..

i saw joseph at church today.. we didn't talk but still he is always someone i want to see.. i wish me and him was able to start.. but i guess he is not the one.. i think i can never be good enough for him.. it's good to see him.. to see him happy.. the one he choose must be a very good girl.. i wish him the best.. i talked to rick today.. i don't want ppl think i'm not coming to church anymore.. just that i don't wanna social too much.. at least not now..

i don't know.. i hope philip will be happy.. i hope my effort won't be vain.. but i have no control.. jesus loves me too.. but do i response? unconditional love can only come from god!!